I remember the news that day!
Ken MacDonald, Vancouver

I was in the faculty office getting ready for a meeting of the faculty council. The radio was turned up and the news came on with several announcements. The last story was relayed fairly tongue-in-cheek, but it was a moment I will never forget. The announcement of the First Gay Games in San Francisco was greeted with a hush in the room. Of course my heart was pounding as it was the perfect meld for me of my sexuality and my love of sport. Until that moment, it never occurred to me that they could co-exist!

One of the professors (he was also the basketball coach) made a very nasty comment about the only sport those guys play has to do with dropping the soap. Well, I must admit that his thought was not insulting, as any thought of naked men doing anything was pretty enjoyable to me. I was insulted, though, that he was being so derogatory in his intent. At that point I decided I would make it to the Gay Games as soon as I could.

At that time I was playing varsity volleyball and coming out was not an option in my little city on the East Coast of Canada. I missed that first Gay Games. After I graduated from University, I started coaching full-time but it was all volunteer so I kept very busy. My teams did very well and I forgot about my goals and dedicated myself to the players on my teams.

I have been lucky enough to work with some very talented athletes and several of them have made it to the top levels of the sport here in Canada.

The Gay Games III was held in my own country and I still did not attend due to my coaching responsibilities. Gay Games IV and Stonewall 25 came along at a time when I was living in Toronto (an hour flight from NYC) and again I was coaching! There was a fair bit of coverage at that time and several people I knew went and had a great time. From the point that I saw it on TV, I decided that no matter what I would go to Amsterdam!

For the next 3 years, I prepared to go to Amsterdam and live up to a promise I had made to myself over 15 years before. Nothing was going to stand in my way. I was getting a lot older and my vertical jump was long gone, but I could still play and couldn't wait to play at the Games.

Registration was completed, flight booked, vacation haggled at work, volunteer time spent with Team Vancouver to help the Team get to the Opening Ceremonies, and nothing left but nerves.

On June 16 that year, I was riding my bike to work (part of my "getting into better shape" plan) when I was hit by a truck. The driver later stated that he didn't see me there. He turned right, directly into my path at a corner. (He was found guilty in court.) Just before I had impact with that truck, all I could think was, "I'm still going to Amsterdam!" and then I hit the truck and dropped to the ground unconscious. As it turned out, I badly bruised my shoulder and pushed the muscles and other tissues into a bunch of bad angles, bruised my whole body, cut several places in my head, and fractured my scapula. (Just a small hairline, but it hurt a lot.)

My doctor told me that I needed to take a bunch of time to heal, but I told him I needed to go to Amsterdam. He was very helpful and referred me to an amazing physical therapist. She helped me get my strength back and was amazed that I even thought I would be able to play. It took me until the middle of July before I could even raise my arm above my shoulder. I remember how happy I was even though it still hurt.

Finally the day came when we gave out the uniforms to the Team Vancouver members and started our flights to Amsterdam. I was so proud of that uniform!

Eventually I got to Amsterdam and met the guys I was going to play volleyball with at the airport, the Village and on the street. My body was still in bad shape, but I was so happy.

I was finally achieving my goal! At the time of the march in for Opening Ceremony, I could only keep saying, "Thomas, we're here!" (Thomas was the co-chair of Team Vancouver with me), and shudders kept running through my body. I had never really understood how proud you could feel before that. It is the kind of Pride that makes you know that all of that other stuff is their problem, not yours.

I had not touched a Volleyball since June as I didn't have the strength and the resistance of the ball was painful. On our first Sunday morning I showed up at the gym and went through the warm-up with dread in regards to the first volley I had to make. Finally the moment came ... and it was okay. As time went, on the discomfort went away and I was able to feel okay. The excitement took over and the match started.

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We lost that match and all of the others, but I really enjoyed myself and left Amsterdam knowing that I had finally achieved a major goal. I had played in an international gay volleyball tournament with athletes from all over the world! I had played in many tournaments in both Canada and the US and I have competed with and against National Team athletes from both of those countries, but those matches paled in comparison to the matches that I lost in Amsterdam! All of those other medals meant nothing compared to my participation medal.

It seemed like I had to go through a lot to get there, but it didn't really seem like that much to me because I got to see the world that I choose to live in at this time.

One of the spin offs of participation is that I got to meet a lot of amazing people. Many were the anonymous Dutch that were genuinely interested in how my stay was working out. There were also a large number of people that offerred me money (and other things) for my Team Vancouver uniform. I was very impressed that I got to meet Betty Baxter. She is from Team Vancouver, but I had never met her before. She was on Team Canada for volleyball in the Montreal Olympics and was one of my idols when I was younger.

That was my first Gay Games experience and it started so many years ago and will continue into the future. I hope that you have enjoyed my story.